( introduction, previously posted to femme_ftm )

A few days ago, on Christmas, I was speaking with my semi-estranged mother over the phone. I generally make it a point to tell her as little as possible about my life, due to past issues with such things, but I had been contemplating whether or not it would be appropriate to formally come out to her. A few months ago, on National Coming Out Day, I posted everything about my bisexuality/transness to Facebook, and figured that would suffice. I heard nothing further about the matter from her, so I figured she had not seen it. Then, out of the blue, when I was talking to her on Christmas, she brought it up and said that she was completely okay with it and wanted me to know she supports me. ;_;
After some discussion, though, it came up that she's not really sure of the differentiation between transgender, transexual, and just being a tomboy, and she really wasn't sure she had the mental capacity to fathom it, so while not everything is sorted out completely, we have agreed to settle her understanding of the discussion on the fact that I do not think of myself as a woman, and she should probably not buy me pink sweaters or be weirded out by me looking like a dude. She doesn't know my new name yet, though. Baby steps, I guess.

x-posted to femme_ftm

( First, an introduction... )

I am on several IRC channels and almost everyone on them knows me as someone who was born a boy, not just a male in the body of a girl. One of these channels in particular is filled with con-goers of a music and gaming festival starting the 31st. Five of them have met me in person and know my name on the channel. About twenty of them have started to become more or less friends with me. My days where I can hide behind my monitor are numbered. My not-as-androgynous-as-I'd-like body will be exposed, and I doubt they'll see my reason behind introducing myself as a guy. I'm close with a lot of the core staff and am even helping out in the LAN room this year. However... I feel I am going to be made fun of for seeing myself as a male. Does anyone here have any words of wisdom or thoughts they'd like to share regarding this issue? It's been on my mind almost non-stop for the past few days.

I'm having a lot of difficulty now with forcing myself to come out to my family. I've just started hormones so it's extra frustrating to still have them call me the wrong name, wrong pronoun, and to be unable to share a huge part of my life with them.

How were you able to work yourself up to being able to come out to your family? Any advice from people with very religious and/or conservative families would be especially appreciated.

Although I'm not religious, my family is... would it be inappropriate or out of line to include scripture along with interpretations of how this scripture relates to trans people not automatically being against the principles of Christianity? Or would it just be better to focus my energy into more secular "okay so your relative is trans here's a nice trans 101" literature?

I know there's never really a good time to come out, but this year has been especially bad for my family and as irrational as it is I feel like I'm just adding to it if I come out... even though in a few months my voice may change noticeably and I really don't want to lie to them about why my voice is different.

A friend recommended that i post something like this, to try to find others similar to me..

Ive been out as trans (to myself) since january 2 years ago. I've just recently started transitioning, I started estrogen in October, MtF. I'm very active in the LGBT community, I even lead my campus' GSA.

( Read more... )

I just feel really screwed up right now, I dont know how to recover. I was doing so good this semester.. I was able to go into rooms full of strangers and say plainly "Im trans and these are my needs" but now.. now I feel theres no strength left at all.

What do I do? Am I alone?

renaissance2010
Turning to photography as a creative outlet during a valiant fight with breast cancer at age 34, renaissance10 survived and set up a photo contest to help raise funds for the Lavender Trust, a nonprofit that provides information and support to younger women with breast cancer. In the first two years, the competition brought in over £65,000 (that's $107,260.73 U.S.!), with entries from 130 countries last year. Renaissance10 recently joined LiveJournal to meet other passionate photographers and find supportive friends.

curiouscupcakes
Holy buttercream frosting! If you have a sweet tooth for sugary goodness or a wandering eye for whimsical confection, this is pure ecstasy iced in deliciousness. Hailing the beloved cupcake as the artisinal canvas of choice, you'll enjoy recipes, photos, and bountiful tips to bake up a batch, whether your taste leans toward French classics or funky and flavorful.

mission101
With New Years in the offing, it's an ideal time to reflect on past accomplishments, make peace with disappointments, and refocus the lens on future goals. This community welcomes you to create a bucket list of 101 things you plan to accomplish in the next 1,001 days. Offering support, guidance, and inspiration, this is a great way to jumpstart those pesky resolutions.

How many of you have been told this when trying to explain things to friends, family, or professionals? How does it make you feel?

While I do agree with the general concept, I think it's become a "buzz phrase" that people use when someone feels bad about their appearance. However, it upsets me to be told this in regard to my physical sex and gender. It isn't the same as being overweight or underweight; short or tall; having blue eyes or brown. We can't just go on a diet, wear platform shoes, or buy some contact lenses. Physical sex is (arguably) at the core of all things that have to do with our bodies. Every day, we are met with countless ways in which we are treated differently during social interactions because of our gender. It affects the opportunities we are given, the friends we make, the careers we may be pushed toward or away from, the people who are attracted to us (even in theory), and so many other things! And the options we have at our disposal for changing it are limited and financially expensive (but thankfully they are there!).

I have spent my entire life being thoroughly disgusted by what is between my legs, what I lack at my chest, and the shape of my body (among many other things). I feel like an alien. I look in the mirror and feel detached from what I see. "It's not me," I keep thinking, even though I know the unfortunate truth: It is. At the very least, it's my body as it is right now. And as long as I have some method, somewhere--something!--that I can do about it, I am going to pursue it. I think it is an insult to be told that I should just sit down, put my feet up, count my blessings, and be happy for something as life-defining and emotionally / psychologically troubling as this. I have even been told by my very own best (female) friend that I am being "shallow" by wishing so fervently to be female! I'm not sure the last time I have been so hurt and insulted by someone I trust and love so dearly (not counting the things my blood-family has done to me).

I surely hope I am not alone in this. Like I said, I do generally believe that our character is what makes us an individual. However, I don't think it can be argued how our sex defines us (in both our own eyes and in that of the world around us) in a multitude of other ways. This isn't a phase, it's not selfish ambition, nor is it wrong. To be handed the rhetoric we already know to be true in a general sense, we are not only being insulted as transgender people, but also as intelligent and self-conscious individuals.

Thoughts, opinions, and discussion on this topic would be highly appreciated.

I was asked that question over two years ago in a counseling session, and not sure exactly why, my best answer was "To fit in. To be accepted to the group I want to be part of." But this year's end has me reflecting that maybe that was only partially right.

I am quite comfortable wearing minimal makeup and casual clothes. But having been taken advantage of by two men, seeing "that thing" between my legs horrifies and saddens me. What is the link between these two events? It's rather causal and circular. In memoir fashion, I found it easiest to go back one link at a time.

I know what needs to be "down there," and can visualize it quite clearly after visiting Dr. Saran's page. I remember at the age of 16, perhaps even younger, wanting it to go back in. It didn't feel right for me. I tucked the whole thing in the groin skin folds, but it wouldn't stay. It just kept popping out. I tried over and over several times over the years, to just try to get it to go back. At 16, and for many years, crossdressing, even though mostly just underdressing, took second place to relying on my imagination of being female in sexual encounters. I hoped, as a person of faith, that if I wore girl's clothing, especially the underwear, things would go the way I felt they should have been.

As a child and a teenager, I never got along with the majority of children. I found more friends among the girls, and I didn't try to be male or female as a preschooler. I just was. It was the presence of other girls, not the games they played or the clothes the wore (except for one skirt that the little girl made look so beautiful twirling in), and not most of the toys they owned that I was drawn to.   I felt more comfortable in the female circles. I have learned over the last year from women's circles, that gender in me is at least 50% resonance. I feel more comfortable in a non-sexual way and more as if I were with my own kind in the room.

Naturally, I was attracted to the kitchen, the enclave of the women, because so much time was spent there preparing food. It was when I was separated from the people I felt comfortable with because I was a "boy," that I began to feel so alone. That loneliness was reinforced by being forced to do things that "men do," further segregating me. Eventually, when adolescence hit, I was at times disgusted with my development, and at other times hoping I could find a way to not be alone "as a man." I used to masturbate to random images from the television, and tried to make myself "feel like a man." But it never worked, and I grew dissatisfied at least half the time with that "thing that stood in my way," and was so annoying and embarrassing. I knew I liked women, but my internal images were always liking them "as a woman." My slow adolescence in a way was a blessing, as I wasn't forced to look like what appeared to me to be 30-year old men in my classmates. I wasn't, at least, physically required to present as a dominant muscle-bound male (at least, not yet).

Of course, I wound up so internally turmoiled that I had few, if any, true friends.

I dress femininely, because at 16 and 44, I would do anything to have my sex fit what I have known it must be, because I still have faith that by doing so, God will put things right. I dress because I have to present as a woman for at least a year before I can have the surgery. I dress femininely to be accepted, but I have learned how to dress comfortably and still be Ma'amed.

Why do I crossdress or live full-time outside of work? So I can have what's between my legs put right and be counted among the women.

Hugs and God Bless,
Sophie

I am experiencing more and more frequent and heavy night sweats. I'm on 2 x 2mg estrodiol valerate and 3 monthly zolodex. Any ideas about causes and mitigation? I suspect it'll be rooted in the artificial menopause I have induced...

Just pondering...
Wow, how life would be different had the Internet been around (like it is now) when I graduated from High School in 1991. I know I would have come out a lot earlier in life.

I have no regrets on how long it took me to come out because the time was just right. I came out at 34.

But I do think about how life would be like if I was in high school right now dealing with trans* issues. It wouldn't necessarily be easier, but I am sure I wouldn't feel so alone as I did.

Life sure is good now though :)

As you might find out from my profile, I'm technically MtF but don't identify as trans. I'm past transitioning (which was surprisingly fast for me) but I'm still pre-op because I'm saving money for a good surgeon. I identify as femme, but not as a woman (or a man). I suppose "girl" is the closest think you might call me without it feeling wrong.

Short summary of post: mtf been on hrt for a long time, no sex drive & no function, reduced E slightly, suddenly acquired masculine function and fertility?. Help?

( The long version and the proper questions )

Last weekend Vancouver's Trans Alliance Society put on our second annual Holiday Party. We had turkey dinner with all the trimmings (plus vegan alternatives), music, Santa and gifts for everyone. We arranged this because too many people in our community don't have family to celebrate the holidays with anymore. Chosen family being the alternative to blood family, we have chosen to open our hearts to all our family whether we know you yet or not. You do have family to spend the holiday with, if you look around a bit.

Okay, this is good for the trans community of Vancouver, but what about everyone else? This is where the challenge comes in: We're not being jealous of our idea. We're not holding copyright on it so if you want to hold a similar event in your home town, we won't do anything but cheer you on (except maybe tell you how we made our arrangements to help you get started).

It would be beyond fantastic to see this event take root and spread to other cities the same way the DOR did. It's time we spread a little joy around. So who wants to take the challenge?

Xposted here and there.

Hey all
I'm Manda Rose.
I pretty much have no idea what I'm doing on LJ, so it would help TONS if y'all could add me.
I like people not bc they have a vagina or penis, but bc of who they are as a person. (Of course, looks ARE an added bonus :P)
Anywho, I seem to not know many bisexual girls in my area. (Chicago,IL) If you're from around here, feel free to hit me up.
I like talking about music too, and already have a demo CD. It hasn't gone on sale yet, but, eh. I have time. I'm only 16.
I also love Joss Whedon, and House.
I love reading too.
I'm gonna stop talking now. Lolz.

BYE!

Greetings. I have dual nationality, and was born, live and currently attend university outside of America. I am aware that it is possible to handle passport renewal by post or at the embassy in London; are there postable forms to use to make alterations to one's passport and/or social security information?

Is it possible to have gender-/sex-related information stricken from such profiles (or replaced with 'N/A' or an equivalent), rather than switched from one pole to another? Particularly if race-related information is not displayed, it seems as though gender-/sex-related information as well should not be. In practice, what do intersex or otherwise effectively gender-neutral individuals do?

Other than passport information and social security information, are there any other government databases which store relevant information to be changed/erased?

Are there available online step-by-step instructions for the procedures for altering the information of these two and any other records of significance?

I can look at my passport but, though I know my social security number, if 'social security information' exists how may I go about looking at it to find out what it is?

Thank you very much for your time.

Hey, I'm new to this community. MtF, 27, from Upper Michigan. I've been living full time as a female for about 3 months now. Doing the hormones on my own. I take 2 mg of estro and 25 mg of spiro in the morning and 50 mg of spiro and my vitamins at night, just started in the last two weeks. Wondering what others have started on and the results you've seen. (Please do NOT preach to me about the dangers of DIY Hormones)

Otherwise I am having problems with my computer. I seem to be having trouble reprogramming my parental units. Both the male and female units break down frequently when using my username. (My username is too long and complicated and cannot contain any other letters or numbers besides STEVE.) I no longer answer to my slave name. So yeah I'm wondering how I can get both units to accept my new username and correct pronoun usage? Sister units and their kid units are unaffected by my changes at least.

The parental female seems to think I have a virus. The female unit has been avoiding all public contact with me and seems to be embarrassed by me. She seems to think the whole thing is a phase and that I am ill. She also feels the need to try to explain to everyone in the family what she thinks is going on and that "just ignore him, he's only trying to get attention". She has called me a pervert in the past and said that everyone is gonna think I'm a child molester if I continue on this path.

The male unit claimed when I started my transition to "be an expert on sexual orientation and gender identity" ...based on a college course he took back in the 70's... yet he still can't understand the difference between the two.  He has read a few books on the subject and seems to be trying to understand at least. Funny story.... he went to Salvation Army and bought a bunch of female clothes for me to try on, to show his support.... Well all the female clothes are UUUUUUGLY and from the 70's and 80's.

I've been informing both units for over a year of my intention to transition but how can I get them both to fully accept and embrace the new, happy me?

And an observation. As a male I had few friends, girls thought I was creepy and guys avoided me altogether. But from the moment I've begun transitioning... guys are weirded out and now I have girlfriends like crazy. Is this typical?

Since my childhood I've known inside that I should have been a girl and I've wanted more than anything to get pregnant and be a mother. Not possible yet I know but do you other MTF's have a strong maternal instinct? It's not that I want to be a mother (I already have a daughter with an ex) but I NEED to get pregnant.... It's been a lifelong ambition. And when I try to explain to someone that I'm jealous of every other genetic female I see and they say "No you aren't. You wouldn't like periods and PMSing and pregnancy and all that..." How can I get people to understand that those things are what I've prayed for my entire life? Do others feel this way?

One day, while I was trying to get some rest, one of my friends came over. Her name is Victoria. I've known her for about three years. She has money and likes to flaunt it. She just got back from a vacation in Mexico (lucky girl, I wish I had time to go on a vacation. Hell, I wish I just had time) and wanted to tell me about it. I was in the kitchen making us some tea while Victoria sat on the couch. She was droning on and on about how fun Mexico was. I wasn't really listening too much so I missed the whole story about a necklace she wanted to show me. When I sat down beside her, she held out a beautiful pendant necklace. Victoria said, "Look at this pendant Kelly. Isn't it pretty the way it changes colors. If you look real hard you can see beautiful designs in it. Look hard concentrate on the pendant, concentrate on the pendant, nothing but the pendant..." read the rest here http://tipsykitten.livejournal.com/1022.html More at Kate Grace Lesbian Dating Blog

So, after about 8 months of MtF transition and therapy I flew a crossed the country to visit my family who had never seen me since I came out to them 5 months prior over the phone. They were extremely supportive and it was spread quickly through my extended family with very few problems (twilight zone moment!). So I arrive and get nothing but reinforcement about my decision. Constantly everyone has been telling me I am a completely different person and full of life in stark contrast prior to transition.

That being said all my previous reservations for full transition have fallen and now I'm looking at coming with a sense of commitment. So right now I dress act and with the help of hormones I know I appear ambiguous to people at a distance. My own father even made mention I seemed to be at a "mid way point."

I'm really looking to hear others thoughts on that point of no return which I feel I'm getting to. I know I'll be working on my voice and electrolysis very soon, and other steps that it will become impossible to remain in my current comfort zone to be successful. I mostly just let people presume I'm homosexual male since I'm more comfortable with that. With the full changes I would push for full female the prospect of "point of no return" is terrifying. The hardest is I'm currently going to school to be an MA and I'm worried about attempting to find work without legal change of gender and name. I seem to be more comfortable with the idea of getting a job first then transitioning while in employment so I can establish my skill as an employee rather than my transition being top issue.

I'll stop, I'm rambling.